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Pleasure Strategist. I help the Strong Ones manifest pleasure and love by transforming their limiting beliefs. Seen in NYT, Cosmo, + Forbes. https://www.lid
Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash

Not long after me and the boogie board parted ways…

I knew I had to move, but I was surprised by my resistance.

I change my hair a lot. With relationships, I love hard, process it and get on with it.

As a banking consultant, I was on various projects a year — different organizational cultures, different procedures, sometimes different cities.

However, I counterbalanced change with my retreat from the world: my home. I didn’t move much growing up — one apartment in Washington Heights and a house in Carol City is all I knew until I was 17. My mother loved making a home — she knitted bedspreads, she…

Photo by Ben Robbins on Unsplash

Trigger Warning: Bodily Injury, Illness

The aggy feeling I woke up with in Brooklyn when I thought of my dad disappeared when I arrived so I knew I made the right choice in following my intuition. I was in Santo Domingo less than 2 weeks when my dad’s health began to decline. I correct people when they say what luck I am here because it has nothing to do with luck; I answered a call and organized my life to follow through with it. What was on the other side of the call is up to God.

I barely knew…

Being emotionally unavailable and forever busy already was.

Photo by Slim Emcee (UG) the poet Truth_From_Africa_Photography

There was only one issue.

I fell in love.

There was no cellphone service and calls to the US were about $4 per minute. There was email, but WiFi was non existent and internet cafes were few and far between.

We agreed to write letters, but not mail them. I wrote about being…


I will be 40 this year and my God, this isn’t what I thought it would be like. I built a business I am proud of and co-founded an organization for women in the sex tech space that’s kicking ass. Yet, I am surviving life. I am engaging with life like it’s a long ride on an old, rickety bus — slow with frustrating jolts leaving behind clouds of exhaust. I wake up berating myself for all the things I hadn’t gotten done. I spend too much of the day figuring out how a bill will be paid or how…

Photo Credit: Emilio Jiménez

And what you can do about it

I was at dinner with two female entrepreneurial rock stars discussing our favorite topics: business and money. One mentioned if you owed money to people it was a sign of your character. I sat there silent with my all too familiar shame, wondering if I would be found out. I took a big gulp of wine. Still more silence. You see, I am that person my friend was talking about. I owe a lot. $145,552.87 to be exact.

No one drowns in debt. You drown in your shame about debt.

In her book Daring Greatly, Dr. Brené Brown defines shame…

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